My Life is the Pits

This is the article I just wrote for our church's September newsletter:

We all do it. And I just did it a few days ago. I got up to a not-particularly-fun sort of day, dealt with some minor yet negative news, and starting getting down on myself. Then it came: the self-pity party. The “woe is me and my problems!” as my mind started cataloguing all of the negatives in my life, dragging me down to a level where a cloud of apathy and grouchiness took over all. There’s a perverse pleasure in pitying yourself, and expecting that others will share that outlook (after all, misery does love company).

So as I’m sitting at home moaning to my wife about these things, God stung me with a clear prick of conscience. What right do I, ever, have to complain (the answer: I don’t)? How many ways has God blessed me (the answer: tremendously, and almost never-ceasing)? Why am I rolling around in my own worry and fretting and depression when I could be lifting these things up to God and asking Him to pull me back out of this funk (the answer: I have no idea)?

Earlier that day I received an e-mail from a good friend who just found out that she has a large mass – or perhaps a tumor – growing on her lung. As I write this, she’s going into the doctor for tests to see what it is and how they can take care of it. She’s also a single mother of two, she works at a gas station, and she recently had her entire house flooded earlier this year (in Wisconsin). If there’s anyone with a right to self-pity, it’s her, not me. And yet, I never hear a complaining word from her mouth when we talk on the phone.

Self-pity is not in God’s plan for your life. It’s connected to selfishness and worry, two things God abhors, because they draw attention away from Him and onto ourselves. Several Bible characters, including murderer Cain (Genesis 4:4-7) got into a funk of self-pity, and it never led them anywhere productive.

Our family used to live next door to a person we called the “Drama In Real Life Lady” (referencing those Reader’s Digest articles). Every day she’d come over with some new tale of woe, expecting us to take pity on her and let her drag us down emotionally to where she was. We eventually got sick of it, and tired of trying to point her to God and the joy that a Christian life provides. That’s not what I’d ever want to be.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 gives these instructions for the non-self-pitying life: “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.” Self-pity is not in God’s will; joy, prayer and thanks is. I needed to be reminded of that.

66 Books

One of the things I've become convicted of is that, at age 32 and a youth pastor of a church, I've yet to read the entire Bible cover to cover. I've certainly read large swaths of it, but past resolutions to read it entirely have gone unfulfilled.

Is August a bad time of the year to make a new resolution? Ah, well, why not?

I want to read through the entire Bible. Maybe in a year, maybe longer, but I'm going to start keeping track of which books I've finished, and try to knock them all out. No skimming, either; I want to really read and really absorb God's Word.

I was inspired by something I heard on the mission trip, where a girl said a dad in her church would buy a new Bible every time he and his wife had a kid. Then he would make a pact with himself to read that Bible cover to cover by the time that kid was 18, writing notes in the margins and underlining favorite verses. When the child came of age, his plan was to hand that Bible to him as a family heirloom, to read him or herself and continue writing in it and underlining great verses. I think that's a wonderful idea. The guy has four children, so he's got a steep task ahead of him, but how awesome would that be to receive that Bible from your dad the day you went off to college?

We'll see if I do that when I have kids, but I do need to read through the Bible on my own for my own spiritual nourishment and gratification (and God's glory).

The Wisdom Crutch

Tell me if this sounds familiar: a society that has fallen away from God and toward self-gratification and arrogance. A world-renown major metropolis that has an influx of every religion possible to the point where no one can point out the "right" belief without being labeled intolerant. A church in that city that, too, has fallen away from God, become corrupt with heresy and infighting and surrender to the same temptations that non-believers fell into. This could be any city in America today, but this particular example comes from first century Corinth, the town which Paul spent well over a year and a half building up a church, only to see it fall under attack from society and man's foolish wisdom.

This is one of the reasons why Paul writes 1 Corinthians, a letter of reprimand, instruction and encouragement to this floundering church. This was a church that started out great and strong, but dissolved into quite un-Christian-like practices: the Holier-Than-Thou crowd, people who were sinning just as bad as any nonbeliever and didn't care, lawsuits were being filed between believers, Paul himself was attacked verbally, and their theology was completely shaky. It was clear to Paul that they'd reverted to relying on man's wisdom as a crutch instead of God's supreme wisdom.

I was thinking about this a lot this past weekend, how we have yet again arrived in an age (maybe we never left it) where society seems so proud of how evolved and intelligent it's become that it's becoming bold in pronouncing itself emancipated from God -- after all, we have science! Philosophy! Our own streamlined, manipulated list of morals and values! And it's not just outside of the church walls, but inside as well. I think if Paul could look at our churches today, he'd write some of the same exact things he wrote to the Corinthian church, especially the section in 1:18-2:5, an entire passage on God's wisdom vs. the world's wisdom.

Verse 18: "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing" -- How true is this? People lost without God think that Jesus as a savior is one of the dumbest, most laughable thoughts possible. Jesus is belittled on TV and in movies, he is treated like an outdated cliché, and to those who aren't ready to really hear the message, it's just pure silliness to them.

Verse 20: "Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?" This topic was sparked by a friend of mine who was recommending the book The God Delusion, in which the author (an evolutionist atheist) pronounces for once and all that God is dead and useless, and proceeds to attempt to break us away from our dependence on God by irrefutable proof through science and society. Yet all I can think about is the sheer arrogance of humanity in this, how quickly we forget that we are not anywhere near an apex of human thought and wisdom, and yet we think we know enough to cast God aside for all time. If we have learned so much in the past few thousand years, then it stands to reason that there's going to be a whole lot more to learn in the next few thousand years and our current understanding and levels of wisdom have a long way to go. So how are we suddenly so smart as to eliminate God from the equation? I don't understand that.

Verse 27: "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." Once again, I see the theme of God hating arrogance so incredibly much that he would rather work through a "foolish" person or a "weak" guy to do his work than the mightiest, smartest man on the planet. Is it so surprising that so many of our most "intelligent" scientists have denounced God, whereas the humble man or woman still sees a need for the divine in our life? Paul even humbles himself in 2:3 -- he was weak, fearful and full of trembling, but he came to share the gospel and that he did.

Time Flies

This past week I bumped into three people who used to be in the youth group here -- two of which are out of college now (one getting married), and another girl who's a junior in high school (who started going to a church closer to her). Talking with them was a bizarre experience, because I don't ever expect these teens to actually, you know, grow any older. But they keep on doing so, often times without my permission.

I think that's great. Someone once told me that you had to stick with a church for at least seven years to really start seeing the fruits of ministry borne out. I don't know if that's true, exactly -- I think a lot of "fruits" will go unseen by me until the end of my life -- but it is a singular joy to have been a part of these teens' lives from when they were little kids to the point of graduation and beyond. It's weird because I feel like time stands still for me: I will forever be a geeky 20-year-old in whatever aging body I'm inhabiting. But they just keep on growing up.

I see great choices and decisions in their lives, careers followed, interests that have bloomed to full-fledged passions, potential wives and husbands chosen. My deep prayer for them is that they have not abandoned God in the pursuit of their lives. I worry about that a lot, worry that because they went to church here and were ministered by me, they didn't get as full or as rich of a discipleship as they needed. Ultimately, it's a moot point -- God's the one who works in their lives, not me, and it's by His grace that I'm here in this role instead of tooling around in a computer case for decades on end.

I just wish they could stay a few years longer when they're here. Just a few years more, and maybe I'd be able to get through to them in ways I haven't yet.

Mission Trip: Accomplished

Well we just got back from the summer mission trip to Waterloo, Iowa last night, and even after a full night's sleep, I am bone-weary. It's a tough week for your average lazy suburbanite youth pastor -- sleeping on the floor, getting up way too early to take a communal shower, not getting any alone time, being away from my wife, always being on the go to handle situations or talk to people. Not that I'm complaining at all! God gives me 51 weeks at home, the least I can do is go outside of my comfort zone for seven measly days.

It was a good trip, a great trip, and praise be to our Lord for that! The weather was good, the "drama" between the teens minimal, and all manner of problematic details worked themselves out splendidly. We did see God working in the hearts and lives of both the mission trippers who went (329 at this particular camp, 39 of them ours) and in the community we went to serve. My crew of six painted a house and garage for a very nice lady named Pat who was a social worker -- in effect, we ministered to a Christian lady who spends her every day ministering to others.

I looked for what God wanted to teach me this week, and I came away with a lot of thoughts and lessons on leadership. I don't know how inspiring of a leader I am -- some days I feel much more in the background than other, more popular and energetic leaders. But when we look at the Bible we see all types of leadership that Christ used to further the kingdom of God: the bold up front leadership of Peter, Andrew's skill in bringing others to Christ, the women's ability to provide support and funds to make the ministries possible. Some of us are called to just one of these roles, some are called to fit into different roles at various times.

I think a good leader is one who won't ever ask someone to do something they won't do themselves, someone who "walks the talk" in their lives. A good leader is always available to those who need an ear, a piece of advice or help. A good leader encourages those with leadership qualities to lead themselves, and he steps back to make this happen. A good leader isn't out to be an ego-driven self-centered populist, but someone who is okay with letting Jesus "steal" the spotlight and hearts of the teens.

We all like to be the center of positive attention, but there's a greater joy when you see young men and women put their faith and trust and adoration in a leader who will truly never let them down. It was humbling to see them kneel at the foot of the cross, to serve others cheerfully and without complaining, to uplift each other and make new bonds of friendship with churches several states away from their own.

Yeah, it was a good week. And I'm glad to be home.

Numb With Worry

I think it's called "crisis fatigue" or something like that. It's when you have to deal with a bad situation for so long that you eventually become exhausted by it: tired, numb, indifferent, desensitized.

I'm pretty sure I have crisis fatigue over what's going on in the world today. Wars, rising gas prices, the economy tumbling to pieces, persecution, the decline of Christianity in Western society, the apathy of most people... it just gets to me. I can't even stand looking at the news page in the morning, because of the doom 'n gloom it represents. Worry is waging a war with my life, and sometimes it has the upper hand.

So this morning's personal exercise is to have God remind me how much I actually need to be concerned. Matthew 6:25-34 has Jesus' famous "don't worry" passage, and in reading it, here's what I'm taking away for the day:

1. We're commanded not to worry. The flipside of that is that worry is, in fact, a sin -- a sin of not trusting in God and His ability to provide for His people.
2. Jesus lists the very basics of life as worry points: clothing, food, drink, life itself.
3. Jesus points out that God's other creations do not spend their lives worrying -- birds, flowers and so on. Yet they're cared and provided for.
4. We are so much more valuable in God's eyes than the rest of creation, and He takes a special interest in caring for us.
5. Worrying accomplishes nothing. We cannot "add a single hour" to our life, no matter how much we worry.
6. Worrying is a sign of a lack of faith, or a struggling faith.
7. The world is consumed with worry -- we are called not to be like the world and follow in their ways.
8. God knows what we need -- He's not blind to them.
9. Our priorities in life are made clear: we are to FIRST seek the kingdom and God's righteousness, and THEN other things will be given to us as well.
10. By worrying about tomorrow, we overlook today.

Good things to remember. Guess my faith needs some shoring up.

Ephesians 2:11-22

Read this passage at Bible Gateway.

It always feels weird, being the outsider looking in at a closed-off group that knows each other, has their own in-jokes, their own traditions, their own place and purpose. It feels weird, and lonely, and it stirs up an ember of envy in your stomach. "I want to be part of that group," you think. "I want to belong."

But you can't -- the membership requirements are too strict, too impossible, too lengthy. You end up being the poor begger on the sidewalk looking wistfully through a window at rich country club patrons eating their $200 meals.

Except, of course, when it comes to Christianity. Jesus accepts everyone into his fold -- the screw ups, the weirdos, the imperfect, the sinners, the beggers, the broken, the ugly, the scarred. He doesn't do it to boost membership numbers or fleece millions of dollars or because he wants cult-like control over followers. He does it out of love.

And how does he do it? Previously, the "membership requirements" into the God Club were almost severely strict. You had to be a Jew, or if not, circumcized and following Jewish law. Yet even the law seemed so tough and rigid that few people could be assured of their right place in God's eyes. Along comes Jesus, who abolishes the membership requirements, not with a word, but with his very own flesh. His blood paves a path to forgiveness for even the most messed up person. The law still stands, but with his blood covering us, we now pass the requirements for God's righteousness.

Thus, the outsider now can become the insider, with as little as a sincere prayer and repentance. We become "citizens", with a place of our very own, with a purpose of God's choosing. How cool is that?